Often clients come into my office angry at their spouse. Feelings of bitterness and resentment drive their desire to make the divorce process as difficult as possible so that they can right all the wrongs that occurred in their marriage. As difficult as it may seem and as much as you want to hurt your spouse, the process always is smoother when you take a step out of your emotions for a moment, take a deep breath, and try to view your divorce as a business negotiation rather than a trial of your heart. When I advise divorcing clients, I encourage cordial and reasonable negotiations - otherwise, the uncontested matter can go south very quickly!

Many clients want their day in court. They want a judge to hear their side of events. What divorcing clients do not understand is that most times at the end of a trial, both spouses walk away unhappy at the end result.  I tell clients that when both spouses are unhappy with the division of marital property, then the court probably did something right.  It is always in everyone's best interest to try and reach an amicable agreement because you retain some control over the outcome. Once trial begins, the judge, who does not know you nor your spouse, will have the final say on how property is divided. 

So before you file for divorce, reflect on your ultimate goals. The divorce process is NOT about making your spouse suffer but about moving on with your life.