A Guide to Divorce and Custody in Connecticut 2008-10-11T00:25:22Z http://blog.bermanlawct.com/atom.aspx Quick Blogcast How do you Enforce a Judgment? tag:blog.bermanlawct.com,2008-03-18:1a79197b-8478-43b4-b1af-b98c158bf200 ReneeCBerman 2008-03-18T14:49:43Z 2008-03-18T14:31:00Z Even though a judge may award you with alimony or property or child support, it does not automatically mean that your ex-spouse will turn what was awarded over to you. There are certain things you can do to enforce the terms of your divorce.

If you are due child support and/or alimony, you can garnish your ex-spouse's wages so that the sum owed is directly deducted from their pay. By garnishing their wages, you no longer have to wonder if you will receive a check every week. 

Also, if your ex-spouse refuses to turn over property, you can bring him or her back to court via a contempt motion. To succeed in a contempt hearing, you must show that your ex-spouse has willfully and intentionally refused to comply with the court order. A contempt motion can also be brought for failure to follow a visitation schedule as well as for failure to comply with monetary orders.

Keep in mind that you cannot use failure to receive child support as a justification to deny visitation. The court always treats child support and visitation separately. Denying visitation for what you believe is a justifiable reason is one very quick way to have your ex-spouse bring you back to court on post-judgment motions.

All fifty states now enforce each other's support orders so your spouse cannot hide by fleeing the state. ]]> Do you Need an Attorney? tag:blog.bermanlawct.com,2008-02-08:5b70faa7-8425-4912-945d-8a47695f0f12 ReneeCBerman 2008-02-08T14:56:19Z 2008-02-08T14:28:00Z In Connecticut, you can get a divorce without being represented by an attorney. This is called pro se.  Even though you can represent yourself, be aware that sometimes this is not always the wisest route.

You can probably avoid using an attorney when you and your spouse agree on most, if not all, of the major issues. When complications arise, such as custody and property disputes, then an attorney may be essential to assure that your interests are protected. 

Also, evaluate you and your spouses personalities.  Does your spouse have a tendency to bully or control you? Do you have a tendency to shy away from controversy?  If you answered yes to either of those questions, then chances are you should hire an attorney. 

If you decide to represent yourself, the State of Connecticut publishes a Do-It-Yourself Guide Book that will walk you through the divorce process, however, these guides do not offer legal advice. You may unintentionally forget to discuss certain issues that will surface years following the divorce. For example, you may forget to address which spouse will claim your child or children on your tax returns. If there are retirement funds or pension plans, you may not fully understand how to value what is to be divided or what needs to be done following the divorce to secure your interest in these funds. You may also not know what steps need to be taken to transfer real estate.  

The lay person attempting to resolve their own family law matter, or even being represented by counsel who does not practice extensively in the family law field, risks an outcome that is either inadequate or incomplete, or both. The considerations and consequences of decisions involving property, support, custody, and visitation can be far reaching and complex.

Even if you are concerned that you cannot afford attorney fees, it is wise to have a consultation with an attorney before you decide to represent yourself. Many attorneys do not charge for an initial consultation. From a consultation, you can learn about what rights you have and also determine whether it is possible to represent yourself given the complexity of issues or lack thereof that might arise.

]]> What is Mediation? tag:blog.bermanlawct.com,2007-11-02:d7843f94-454b-45a5-bcec-2995d394fbf5 ReneeCBerman 2007-11-02T14:50:51Z 2007-11-02T14:24:00Z

Mediation is a voluntary, cooperative settlement process in which a neutral professional helps make practical, informed decisions to resolve your differences.  With the guidance of a mediator, you define the issues that need to be settled and attempt to resolve these issues in an amicable fashion.
 
With a mediator's help, you can make decisions about such issues as parenting plans, child support, spousal support, property division, and debt allocation. Of course, you should weigh both the pros and cons carefully as you decide whether mediation is appropriate for your situation:

Pros:

  • You can make your own decisions about your future.
  • You can carefully weigh all of your options and take your time to reach an agreement that you are comfortable living with.
  • Mediation requires you to treat each other with respect and decency throughout the process.
  • Mediation is practice so that you can work out future problems together.

Cons:

  • You must put aside your bitterness and hurt and deal with your spouse on a personal face to face process.
  • You must be willing to compromise.
  • Mediation may not be appropriate if one spouse is domineering and tends to bully the other spouse.
  • The mediation process does not provide any guarantees and one spouse might decide after lengthy discussions that they do not wish to continue with the process.

Only you will be able to determine whether mediation is appropriate for your situation. In order for mediation to be successful, both parties need to come to the table with an open mind and with a similar goal; that is to reach an agreement that both spouses are comfortable living with so that you can close this chapter and move forward with your lives.

]]> Tips for Dealing with Divorce Stress tag:blog.bermanlawct.com,2007-10-15:9c948661-04af-4de0-8a3c-fe470dfa110d ReneeCBerman 2007-10-15T08:20:02Z 2007-10-15T13:30:00Z In the heat of a divorce,  it is often easy to lose sight of perspective and self. The following link offers some reminders on how to realistically deal with the stress so you can move past the anger and focus on your own emotional and physical wellbeing.

http://divorcesupport.about.com/od/copingduringdivorce/tp/tips_stress.htm]]> Alimony...who gets it and for how long? tag:blog.bermanlawct.com,2007-10-05:75dae5be-46c4-4345-afd4-5a08fb0177f1 ReneeCBerman 2007-10-05T13:40:38Z 2007-10-05T13:16:00Z

Alimony and spousal support mean the same thing; that is payment from one spouse to another spouse. The question is: Is alimony always awarded?

Deciding whether a spouse should receive alimony and if so, how much, is based on need, the ability of the other party to meet that need, the length of the marriage, and previous lifestyle.

The court will assess whether the recipient will have enough money to live after the divorce is final. To make this determination, the court will likely assess the recipient's earning ability, earnings from property received in the property division and additional sources of income. 

However, just because one party may need spousal support does not necessarily mean that the other spouse can afford to pay spousal support. In assessing whether the other spouse has an ability to pay alimony, the court will look at what he or she needs to live and whether he or she can afford to pay alimony to their spouse.

Alimony is deductible from the paying spouse's total adjusted gross income in their tax return, and is includable as ordinary income by the recipient on their tax returns. Note that child support is just the opposite in that it is not deductible and the recipient need not include it as income.

The length of a marriage factors into whether alimony is appropriate in any given situation. The longer the marriage, the more likely alimony will be awarded.  Correspondingly, if a couple has only been married two years, alimony may not be awarded. 

]]> You Cannot Avoid Child Support tag:blog.bermanlawct.com,2007-10-02:d722cf0d-3609-46c8-95e1-79954084815e ReneeCBerman 2007-10-02T13:43:58Z 2007-10-02T13:23:00Z
Parents must support their children, whether they are married or not. Where the child resides determines who pays support.

In Connecticut, there are child support guidelines that are formulated to be used by courts to determine how much should be paid. These formulas are based on the income of each parent. These guidelines are presumed to be correct unless there is a showing that the amount would be inappropriate under a particular circumstance in a case. Reasons for deviation from the guidelines are, for example, a parent has extraordinary expenses such as travel-related visitation expenses or a high amount of uninsured medical expenses. Although the guidelines will also determine the parent's share of unreimbursed medical expenses and daycare expenses, it will be your responsibility to raise the issue of other expenses that are not determined by the guidelines such as holiday and birthday gifts, birthday parties, bar and bat mitzvahs, first communions, weddings, travel to and from parents' homes if it requires air or train fare, and other school and after-school activities.

Do not think that by quitting your job you can avoid paying child support. Some judges will make a party report to court each week with job searches if it looks like they are not making a reasonable effort to find employment. The Court may also make a determination that a party is earning substantially less than they could through a reasonable effort. Therefore, the Court may consider potential earning capacity rather than actual earnings. In making this determination, the Court shall take into consideration the education, training, and past employment history of the party.

]]> What is Discovery? tag:blog.bermanlawct.com,2007-09-17:21d6a6fc-9e00-4c28-8388-7d4350a45015 ReneeCBerman 2007-09-17T10:13:07Z 2007-09-17T09:47:00Z You may hear the term discovery used throughout your divorce. What is discovery and what role does it play in your divorce? Discovery is the process by which parties to a lawsuit find out about the facts of your case. The scope of discovery is wide in divorce cases. If a question has something to do with the marriage, children, property, debt, income or expenses, you can ask it and it will have to be answered.

Both sides must comply with discovery requests by producing documents and records to respond to questions. Connecticut starts the ball rolling by compiling a list of mandatory disclosure.  The following are the documents each side must turn over pursuant to this mandatory disclosure:
                 (1) all federal and state income tax returns filed within the last three years, including personal returns and returns filed on behalf of any partnership or closely-held corporation of which a party is a partner or shareholder;
                  (2) IRS forms W-2, 1099 and K-1 within the last three years including those for the past year if the income tax returns for that year have not been prepared;
                  (3) copies of all pay stubs or other evidence of income for the current year and the last pay stub from the past year;
                  (4) statements for all accounts maintained with any financial institution, including banks, brokers and financial managers, for the past twenty-four months;
                  (5) the most recent statement showing any interest in any KEOGH, IRA, profit sharing plan, deferred compensation plan, pension plan or retirement account;
                  (6) the most recent statement regarding any insurance on the life of any party;
                  (7) a summary furnished by the employer of the party’s medical insurance policy, coverage, cost of coverage, spousal benefits, and COBRA costs following dissolution;
                  (8) any written appraisal concerning any asset owned by either party.
                  (9) an updated sworn Financial Affidavit.
However, keep in mind, this list is not exhaustive and most often, additional documents must be requested. An example of additional discovery requests include interrogatories, which are detailed written questions that you and/or your spouse must answer under oath. 

Parties should exchange discovery within 30 days of the request, but often this time frame is not complied with. Your attorney can file a Motion to Compel discovery when your spouse does not produce answers and documents within the time frame provided.  Your spouse might claim that the information requested is privileged or demanded with the intent to harass. At this point, the Court's intervention may become necessary to resolve this discovery dispute. When you believe a spouse is hiding assets, you can employ the skill of a forensic accountant; however, this is often costly and should be avoided unless absolutely necessary.

Another common discovery tool is the taking of either your or your spouse's deposition under oath. Before you submit to a deposition, your attorney should carefully prepare you because your testimony from a deposition can later be used in the trial.

Lastly, your attorney can subpoena documents and people who are not involved in your divorce. This tool is useful to retrieve bank records, employment records, or people who can help your case. 

]]> How Do You Choose an Attorney? tag:blog.bermanlawct.com,2007-09-10:f46d4543-7468-49d2-8835-678b3b43241c ReneeCBerman 2007-09-10T09:01:11Z 2007-09-10T08:25:00Z Assuming that you choose to be represented by legal counsel in your divorce action, the next question is how much will my divorce cost me? Because this is your family, your life and your money, only you know what is essential, what is important and what is unimportant to you.

You need to set the agenda once you retain an attorney.  Your attorney will decide on the stategy and tactics to achieve your goals, or hopefully, will you tell you if they believe your goals are not achievable.  Attorneys come in all shapes and sizes. Some are lazy and others will realize that vast amounts of money can be made from promoting litigation via court motions.  You do not want a lazy attorney but neither do you want an attorney who will charge thousands of dollars in order to wage a battle in front of a judge just to get the same end result that could have been resolved by settling with your spouse. 

As you begin your search for an attorney, make a list of questions to ask and schedule an appointment so that you can essentially interview the prospective attorney.  You need to be comfortable with the attorney you choose so that you can speak openly and frankly with him or her.  You also need your attorney to provide information to you about divorce procedure and strategy.  Never worry about bothering your attorney. This is your case and your life. You need to be fully informed before you make any decisions!

Of course, cost is a concern for most people going through a divorce. This concern is often justified because in Connecticut, family law litigation can be very expensive.  Most attorneys require a retainer up front. The amount of the retainer usually depends on the complexity of the case.  For example, a simple divorce with no children and few marital assets will require a significantly lower retainer than a divorce involving real property, retirement and trust funds, and a bitter custody battle. Likewise, attorneys typically charge anywhere from $200-400 per hour.  Be sure to ask whether you will be charged everytime you pick up the phone to speak to your attorney.

Excessive litigation costs are often the result of clients wanting to wage war against a cheating spouse because they are hurt and bitter.  These costs may include the taking of depositions of family members and hiring a private investigator to capture photos of the cheating spouse in action.  Although bombarding your spouse with hundreds of pages of discovery requests and numerous subpoenas may make you feel like you gained the upperhand in your divorce, in fact, it will only guarantee that a good part of your family's assets is delivered to the attorneys involved in the matter.

My recommendation: Do a cost-benefit analysis. Try to look at your divorce as a business transaction rather than a matter of the heart.  Speak to your attorney about a logical and reasonable resolution to your case that is most cost-effective. The goal is to move on with your life and allowing your divorce to drag on for a year to fight over inconsequential matters is only going to hinder this goal.  

]]> Cool Your Emotions tag:blog.bermanlawct.com,2007-09-05:b4bedd9d-2bc1-495c-9fcb-a9eacf44bf0a ReneeCBerman 2007-09-05T14:46:31Z 2007-09-05T14:27:00Z

Often clients come into my office angry at their spouse. Feelings of bitterness and resentment drive their desire to make the divorce process as difficult as possible so that they can right all the wrongs that occurred in their marriage. As difficult as it may seem and as much as you want to hurt your spouse, the process always is smoother when you take a step out of your emotions for a moment, take a deep breath, and try to view your divorce as a business negotiation rather than a trial of your heart. When I advise divorcing clients, I encourage cordial and reasonable negotiations - otherwise, the uncontested matter can go south very quickly!

Many clients want their day in court. They want a judge to hear their side of events. What divorcing clients do not understand is that most times at the end of a trial, both spouses walk away unhappy at the end result.  I tell clients that when both spouses are unhappy with the division of marital property, then the court probably did something right.  It is always in everyone's best interest to try and reach an amicable agreement because you retain some control over the outcome. Once trial begins, the judge, who does not know you nor your spouse, will have the final say on how property is divided. 

So before you file for divorce, reflect on your ultimate goals. The divorce process is NOT about making your spouse suffer but about moving on with your life.

]]> Welcome tag:blog.bermanlawct.com,2007-08-30:1210c964-bace-4efe-9f71-2d72848bce65 ReneeCBerman 2007-08-30T12:21:03Z 2007-08-30T05:00:00Z Since you are reading this, you are probably involved in an imminent or ongoing divorce or custody battle. You are confused, angry, and frustrated. Future posts will offer insight into how divorces and/or child custody battles work, intelligent discussions and anecdotes on going through family law challenges, commentary on Connecticut case law, and so much more.

We welcome your feedback and comments. Feel free to email us confidentially with your ideas, complaints, questions and suggestions. Please also find more general information pertaining to family law at www.bermanlawct.com.

]]> The Effects of Divorce on Your Health Insurance tag:blog.bermanlawct.com,2007-08-29:27d61ae4-519c-461e-8133-057b3758ed26 ReneeCBerman 2007-08-30T12:42:10Z 2007-08-29T12:09:00Z
I recently had a client call me in a panic because her husband threatened to remove her from his health insurance when he was served with the divorce papers. Once a divorce is officially filed in Superior Court, automatic orders are entered which are designed to maintain the status quo until the parties are divorced or they are modified by court order.  In that regard, one spouse cannot remove the other spouse from his or her health insurance absent court order.

Once a divorce is granted, the ex-souse can remain eligibile to participate on the other party's health insurance plan through COBRA (short for the Consolidated Omnibus Budget Reconciliation Act).  COBRA provides a vital bridge between health insurance plans for qualified workers, their spouses, and their dependent children when their health insurance might otherwise be cut off.  When a spouse notifies his or her employer of the divorce, the employer will send a notice to the family member on the policy informing them of their right to COBRA coverage. If you qualify for COBRA benefits, your health plan administrator must give you notice stating your right to choose to continue benefits provided by the plan.  Typically, you then have 60 days to accept coverage or lose all rights to the benefits.  Since COBRA benefits are meant to be short-term, the ex-spouse will want to consider securing another health insurance policy.  Keep in mind that often COBRA is very expensive.

If you have children and both parents have insurance coverage, it does not make sense to name children on both group plans and pay for two separate family coverages. If you can work through these issues amicably, the two of you should decide which group plan offers the best benefits for your children and put your children on that plan.  Remember that notices about changes in benefits and rules will be mailed to the parent who holds that plan, even if the other parent has custody.]]> Before You File For Custody... tag:blog.bermanlawct.com,2007-08-28:a4e720a4-09e1-43cd-afd1-3434a77156c2 ReneeCBerman 2007-08-29T07:53:56Z 2007-08-28T21:30:00Z If you are contemplating filing for custody of your children, take a deep breath and contemplate the following suggestions before you make the next move:

  • Make an appointment for a consultation with a family attorney before you do anything. Even if you do not end up hiring an attorney to handle your case, the attorney can offer you advice about the law as it applies to your case and court procedure. Many attorneys offer free 1/2 hour to one hour consultations so ask when you make the appointment.

  • The Connecticut Court is going to look at what is in the "best interest of the child" before they make any decisions regarding custody. Take an honest look at what is in your child's best interest from the point of view of an objective person.

  • Figure out what your ideal parenting plan would look like; that means what would you like to see in terms of parenting responsibilities, regular schedules, vacation time, and decision making.

  • Do not EVER let your child know how much you dislike your child's other parent. You are the adult so act like one! If there is evidence that you disparage the other parent in front of your child, you will ruin your credibility in court and a judge may even give sole custody to the other parent.

  • When you do finally go to Court, respect the judge, respect the court staff, and (as hard as it might be) respect your child's other parent. If a judge is speaking to you, do not interupt him or her. You will have time to say what you want.

  • If a Guardian Ad Litem becomes involved in your custody dispute, cooperate with this person and make yourself accessible, return phone calls, be on time for appointments and court, and always be respectful. Remember, often judge's look to them for opinions about what is in your child's best interest.

  • From the moment you contemplate commencing a custody action, gather evidence to use later on to support your case. Photographs of you and your child together, names and contact information of people who know you and your child, receipts from your outing at an amusement park, anything that will establish that you have an ongoing relationship with your child will be helpful.

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